Ekker Law, P.C. / Steven B. Ekker, Esq.

4 Tips for Divorcing an Abusive Spouse

 Posted on May 24, 2022 in Divorce

Sugar Grove divorce attorneyNo one deserves to suffer through an abusive marriage. If your spouse is abusing you - physically, emotionally, financially, sexually, or otherwise - it is imperative that you put your safety first and get out of your marriage. Divorcing an abusive spouse can be challenging on many levels. Abusers often make their victims believe that they cannot make it on their own, but this is never true. You may also be fearful that your spouse will harm you or your children if you try to leave

Luckily, there are steps an attorney can take to help keep you and any children you have safe during this process. While the process may be difficult, it is worth it. If your spouse abuses you, make sure you let your attorney know what your fears and needs are when you begin to initiate the process of divorce

Helpful Information to Have When You Are Leaving an Abusive Marriage

When you are ready to safely exit an abusive marriage, there are a few steps your attorney may want to take before you file for divorce in order to protect you. Tips for divorcing an abusive spouse include: 

  • Orders of protection - You can seek a civil protection order that can help keep you safe. A judge can order your spouse to leave the marital home immediately - even if they own it or the lease is in their name. Protection orders can also keep your spouse away from your workplace and your children’s schools and prevent them from contacting you. If your spouse violates a protection order, they could go to jail. 
  • Find available resources - You might be worried about how you will support yourself after the divorce, especially if you could not have a career during your marriage. There are resources and programs available here in Kane County that can help you with anything from finding a new home to getting assistance with food and medical care. Your spouse could also be ordered to begin paying spousal support and child support immediately and in the long term. There is no reason to stay in a dangerous marriage for fear of losing financial support. 
  • Seek counseling - It is a good idea to seek counseling for yourself and any children involved. Leaving an abusive marriage is emotionally challenging and you may be struggling with a lot of anxieties and other negative feelings. 
  • Prepare for litigation - Some abusive spouses fight tooth and nail to try to stop the divorce or to avoid support obligations. Abusers are not known for their ability to make reasonable compromises. It may be possible for your lawyer to negotiate so you can file an uncontested divorce, but you should also be prepared for the possibility of litigation. 

Your safety and the safety of your children come first. Exiting an abusive marriage through divorce is possible, and you can do it. While it may be difficult, it will be worth it in the end




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